Thankful Thursday: February 7th

In all seriousness, this post could alternatively be called “The Many Colors of Deployment”

This week, I am thankful for the people behind companies like “N Rage Color” and “Manic Panic”… These wonderful people have given me something to do with my hair when I’m bored or desperate to be in control of something when all else is going wrong.

I have to be in control of something. TMI alert, when I hit puberty, my beautiful blonde hair began to turn a deep shade of brown, not that it wasn’t pretty, but it was change and I hate change. So I began dying it back to blonde at the age of twelve. When I was 15, I was finally tired of the blonde jokes by my step-dad and the kids at school (It’s Asperger’s ASSHAT! It has NOTHING to do with my hair color!), so one weekend I dyed my hair “Egyptian Plum”… When that color was discontinued, I remember crying in the hair color aisle at Walmart because it meant another change. My mom found a similar shade of “Deep Burgundy” and I went with that for years. Even after I got married, I had a love/hate relationship with my hair. When my daughter was 6 months old, I texted my husband with something like “What do you think about girls with no hair?”… I don’t remember what his answer was, but I do know that by the time he came home from work that day, my beautiful, long brown hair was gone and a head full of stubble was all that remained. I looked adorable and his brother’s reaction was hilarious. Apparently, my husband’s next older brother (the middle child of the three grown boys) flew off the handle and couldn’t figure out why my Father and Mother-in-law would let me do that to myself. LOL I love those kinds of reactions.

In the past two years, my hair has been mostly black. A sort of “STFU” to my mom because it was the one color she would never let me color it. She didn’t want me to be goth (insert eye roll here). But after six years of marriage, I’d earned my right to black hair and she’s even told me it looks fabulous on me. Her way of telling me she was wrong all those years ago, I guess.

When my husband deployed, I thought I would fall to pieces. I was quickly losing my mind. So once again, I needed control. I turned to bleach and hair dye, though not in that order.

First I had “Pretty Flamingo”.

This was before bleach... The "flamingo" didn't take well and faded into pink highlights.

This was before bleach… The “flamingo” didn’t take well and faded into pink highlights.

Then came “Purple Haze”, which faded to an awkward shade of blonde, but was still kind of pretty.

Pretty in Purple.

Pretty in Purple.

Then I got really creative (and a little budget conscious) and used “Vampire Red” AND “Purple Haze” since I had extra of each.

Two toned... Fun and funky... This one got me a lot of "Does her husband know she did that?" stares at the Squadron Christmas party.

Two toned… Fun and funky… This one got me a lot of “Does her husband know she did that?” stares at the Squadron Christmas party.

This was actually cool because as the purple faded to the blonde again, the red was washing out and collecting in the now blonde hair, which gave me a unique shade of pink.

And then there was PINK!

And then there was PINK!

Had it not been for some insanely dark roots, I don’t think I would have bleached my hair again today.

Freshly bleached and ready to do whatever.

Freshly bleached and ready to do whatever.

But the red didn’t completely bleach out, so I’m sporting an odd shade of Strawberry blonde near the tips and practically platinum blonde near my roots. This is easily covered by a scarf until I figure out whether to bleach again tomorrow or just take my chances and dye over it with black.

I think the most interesting thing about this experience is that I seem to look good regardless of my hair color. Most people can’t say that. But I look absolutely adorable with purple hair!

I am fearful about a lot of things. In this, I am fearless. I love these dyes because they don’t damage your hair (clearly, since I’ve been bleaching my hair once a month for four months and I still have hair to bleach). My hair feels healthier and color makes me happy. I am grateful for this freedom. This control. I am grateful for a husband who supports my wild colors and my hair color whims and my need for control. (He even thought the purple was kind of sexy O_o)

I am grateful for the companies and the people behind them that make this journey of self-exploration and self-confidence possible.

Thank you, Manic Panic.