I did it, dear readers, I actually did it.

I wrote my novel of 50,041 words… Of course, that includes a dedication page and two epilogues (I couldn’t figure out how to end the story… So I wrote two).

I love it! My story is complete and final.

Thank you, dear readers, followers, and friends for all the support and encouragement you have given me over these past 30 (-ish) days. Without the encouragement of people I care about, I would not have made it as far as I did.

I’m gonna go eat junk food a decompress for a few days.

I need to get caught up on laundry and dishes, and I trip to the commissary wouldn’t hurt either 😛

The world of self-publishing is still a confusing place for me and I’m not sure I’ll ever release my story to the public, but yay that it is written.

Peace and Calm

I knew I was gonna crash soon. I’d been riding high a few too many days on little food and even less sleep… I can’t write. I can’t control my brain. I have one thing after another after another after another going through my head and none of it makes sense and all of it makes sense and I need to purge.

Why is it so hard to understand the world? This place isn’t AS friendly, it’s just not. One panic attack after another after another all day long.

Driving unfamiliar cars, unhelpful emails from the doctors, characters who wont cooperate, I over slept again this morning. I can’t do it. I have to do it. The NaNoWriMo store has been down for days but only on my computer. I can’t get the t-shirt ordered, the store wont load.

It’s too bright outside, but I have to keep the blinds open. Have to have to have to, I need the light. But it’s so bright. It’s cloudy and cold and damp and bright outside and it’s to much.

Everything is loud and so bright and just so … it’s too much. My clothes aren’t right and the couch isn’t right and the television isn’t right and the neighbors close their car doors too loudly and three blocks away someone is repairing a roof in the middle of what is quickly becoming winter but should still be autumn. Should still be autumn.

I don’t know how to fix it. the world is just wrong today.

ever have one of those days where you just want to blacken it right off the calendar. I think today is that day. I can honestly tell you all that in about ten minutes I wont know what I wrote in this post. my brain just keeps buzzing and it wont stop and it barely slows down. its a good thing i can type while staring at a spinning ceiling fan though i think that;s only making this overwhelming anxiety worse…

Today is not good. not good. tomorrow. tomorrow will be better. why are there only three working light bulbs on the ceiling fan? I should fix that. does the step ladder reach that high?

Maybe now that some of this is out I can get back to work on my novel. Maybe I can still finish on time.


Maybe I can still finish.

Tomorrow will be better. Much better.

NaNoWriMo 2012: Update 11.26


November 26, 2012, 0935 Central Time, USA

Well, folks, my mad dash finish is working. I am 11,079 words from 50,000 and I’m pushing hard to get this done. I spent part of Thanksgiving writing chapter outlines and it really seems to have helped me see where my focus should be headed and what I want to have happen in each chapter to maintain my word count goals. I am little more than a day behind PAR and it’s only ten in the morning. I have all day to write (and do dishes… those are starting to pile up). I’m excited. I CAN DO THIS!

Just look at all that green on that widget now! YEA BABY!



Can I update on an update? I’m not sure that I can, but I am certainly going to try.

As of November 26, 2012, 1402 Central Time, USA

I have 8,992 words left to finish… I’m halfway through a climatic battle to the death and I’m nearing the end of my story. I fear my word count may not reach 50,000 before my story is wrapped up. If that is the case, expect the unexpected and you will find a random chapter near the end of my novel involving a fire ball wielding blood elf in the middle of a crowded mall… Hilarity may or may not ensue.


There has been life, death, births, abortions, a feline mutilation. It has been wild and it’s not over yet!



NaNo Treats for my Readers (MATURE)

I’ve been slacking off on my word count, dear readers. I’m making a mad dash to the finish in true procrastination fashion, but before I lace up my running shoes, I have a few things to share.


Before this NaNoWriMo adventure began, I asked for suggestions to help get me from one point to another. (Preparing for NaNoWriMo) I am pleased to announce that Andrea Kelly of The Hand-Written Life made it into Chapter 15, with her modern Snow White-ish style dress. My girl needed a party dress and with a little artistic license, I was able to turn the dress in Andrea’s closet into a fabulous maternity dress for my serial killer with a heart of gold. Andrea, this excerpt is for you:

“I showed Officer ‘Rick’ to Jasper’s room to change in privacy.  Officer Pereira went into the bathroom and I headed to my room to get changed.

Digging through all the maternity clothes I had accumulated over the course of the past few months, I found just the item I was looking for.  I had hit a great sale at a major department store, just after Halloween.  The knee length dress was white sateen, more cream colored than egg.  The short cap sleeves made it great for any season and the black vested bust made it casual and elegant at the same time.  I looked a bit like a pregnant, yet modern, version of Snow White.  I paired the dress with a pair of calf high black suede flat heeled boots.  Tossing my long black curls into an elegant but haphazard bun near the crown of my head, I applied a bright red lipstick for affect and the look was complete.

If it was not for the protruding belly under the dress, I would have been tearing up the place.  I looked hot!”


Now, the title says “readers” and I’ve only mentioned one. Well, last week, I was overly enthusiastic about my word counts and left it up to you, my readers, as to what type of excerpt you would like to read, sex or death. (Update:11/12/12)  I received several ‘likes’ on the post, but only one true comment. To be honest, I was a little disappointed in the lack of response, but I’m on a new day, and in the grand tradition of rewarding the only one who shows up to the contest with the grand prize trophy, Tocksin, my dear, this one is all yours:

“At this point, I could not tell where one orgasm ended and the next began as waves of pleasure came rushing over me.  Just when I thought I could not stand anymore, just when my body began to quiver with pleasure and I thought surely I was going to die in ecstasy, he thrust himself hard into my body.

The startled noise that came from my throat was pain and pleasure all at once.  Fast, furious even, he began forcing his body deeper and deeper into mine, as if he just could not get deep enough.  I tried to open my legs more, but he slammed them back against his sides, never missing a beat.  His pleasure built as he slammed his body into mine over and over again.  Noises of pleasure and pain sprang from both of us as our bodies locked into each other.  When he finally came, he collapsed onto my body, both of us covered in sweat and we just laid there.  We were soaked in each other’s sweat and fluids, and gasping for breath.

It took not more than a few minutes before he was sitting up.  Removing my panties from my knees, he flipped me over to lie on my stomach.  Leaning over me, he whispered “You think you are done?  Not even close.” ”


Thank you blogger friends, for supporting this endeavor. I am done procrastinating and have a word count to attack. Running shoes on, I will finish this marathon if my MC has to kill every character in the book.


***These words are mine, don’t steal, it’s not nice and I’ll have to pull a “Taylor Swift” and write your death in a future novel***


NaNoWriMo Update:11/12/12

Wow, suddenly I don’t suck!

In the past three days, I have put up some impressive numbers. Mostly, today with my word count at an impressive 6,408.

(Just look at all the green and yellow on that little widgety thing now!)

And I’m not done yet. Three thousand more words and I will be on Par for Day 12. I still have three hours and twelve minutes left on today. So long as my eyes keep functioning (which I’m starting to doubt after having to wear my reading glass all day), I will keep writing.

I’ve got Alanis Morissette blaring in my ears, the kids are in bed, the TV is off (!!!) and I’m killing people in Microsoft Word.

My total word count now is 17,177.

I want to thank you all for your support too. Between little words of encouragement, vague statements about walks (that I didn’t entirely understand but it made me smile anyway) and the curiosity other authors (like published and EVERYTHING!) have expressed in my main character, I feel very loved as I go through this month of “literary abandon”.


To reward you all for that support, I would like to release an excerpt from my rough draft, but I won’t be the one picking the scene (well not entirely). Since my novel does have romantic undertones, there is both sex and murder. I leave it to you, my dear readers, leave me a comment and we’ll see what wins. Whether I post a clip from a homicide or a romantic escapade is entirely up to you. (Fair warning, I’ve written scenes in the past that have made my husband blush.)

So what will it be? Do we read sex, or murder?

NaNoWriMo Update

I suck!


The past week has been hard on me emotionally and I have had zero, none, absolutely no desire to write. I want to draw lol… I’m eager to draw and can’t find my inner writer. It’s common for her to go on vacation when I need her to work. She’s kind of lazy really.


So I’ll let you know, my current word count is an unofficial, unimpressive 8,369 words.

That widget-like thing on the side bar to the left, that’s my progress… See all the red? Those are the days I didn’t meet the word count goal of 1,667. The green is the one day I met or exceeded that goal and the yellow days are days I passed out while writing, but managed to submit a minimal word count before doing so.

I’m failing, dear readers. But I’m not giving up yet. I missed my personal 5 day goal of 10k words, by a mere 3k. That’s not too bad. I have also missed (or will as of tomorrow) the word count goal of 20k by day 10… I’m aiming instead for my November 15th goal of 27,000 words. This I believe can be done. I just have to deal with a three day holiday for the kids, a possible trip to Nashville and 4k words a day for the next 5 days…

That can be done, right?

Wishing you all good luck and a cure for writer’s block.

Happy NaNoWriMo!

Just a quick post to wish all my fellow participants good luck this month.

A quick request of all my readers: If I disappear for more than a week, poke me with a stick to make sure I’m still breathing. I’ll check in with my progress periodically, but the bulk of my writing will be on my novel and not my blog this month.

Good luck guys, and thanks for supporting my journey this month.

Happy Writing!

Preparing for NaNoWriMo

Okay, so it didn’t take a lot of prodding to get me into the idea of writing for the month of November. I was an active participant in the 2010 NaNoWriMo and last year, I used the time to help my daughter work on her fine motor skills and imaginative thinking (something I myself am not particularly good at).

So, last night I came across a blog that had been Freshly Pressed entitled, “NaNoWriMo – Embrace the Icky Sticky”. In this entry, our resident blogger, Dave Farmer discusses what he terms “the Icky Sticky”. I’m not good with gross things on my hands but the imagery works, so “when in Rome”. His theory is when you hit the point in your writing he calls, “The Lifeless River Bed of Despondency and Meh” (which is actually kind of catchy, maybe we could build “The Writer’s Block” bar, pub and coffee shop on the banks of this river bed?), you need something to bring life back to your characters and move your story forward, such as stepping in chewing gum, to use one of his many examples.

This is a problem I often have in my own writing. I can write great scenes worthy of high praise from the wall I read them to (literally, my husband is deployed, I talk to walls.), but I have a lot of trouble moving from one scene to the next. It’s not like writing a screenplay or theatrical production where you can just type “End Scene” and move on to something completely new in the next act. There has to be an action that brings the characters to the next scene, something that forces them to move in that direction and thus progress the story you are telling.

This, my dear readers, is where I need your help… I often get stuck in these no man’s lands between scenes and I’m not very good at bridging the gaps. My mind and way of thinking really only function on one level and unfortunately, being non-neurotypical puts me at a disadvantage in terms of creative writing. This is something I am working on, which is why I keep forcing myself to write fiction, though it would be so much easier to just write events in chronological order and call it a book.

I’m asking you, dear friends and fellow bloggers, for ideas. I need “ick”! No matter how random they may seem. I don’t have a specific genre for this book, so if you suggest a Blood Elf wielding fireballs running through the streets igniting the police vehicles chasing it bumps into the main character singeing her hair as she falls, I would probably include it. It’s fast paced, interesting, completely unexpected and maybe that fall in the street makes her late for a meeting or prevents her from being in her apartment when a serial killer breaks in and she comes home to a large police presence outside her building. If a bus breaks down preventing my MC from getting to bank before it closes, or if a new character shows up for a page or two, these are all the types of things Mr. Farmer suggests can help move the story forward.

These are the types of actions I lose sight of once I’m actually in the moment and writing. These are the places I falter, I just can’t seem to come up with the “Icky Sticky” that helps bridge the scenes and move the story. I know where I want to go, but not how to get there. It’s like being late for an appointment held at a location you’ve never been before and your GPS is broken… I see the painting and not the brush strokes, I see the forest but can’t find the trees.

50,000 words in 30 days, I think the breakdown is 1,667 words a day if I remember that correctly (which I probably do because I’m better with numbers than with words). I’m toying with the idea of posting each days writing here to the blog so each of you can follow the story as it progresses. Any ideas I use would be credited to the originating party, with a link back to your own blog, on the day that they were used.

So let’s have it!? A character, setting, action, doesn’t matter what it is. Anything that you think is interesting or would add interest to an otherwise failing storyline (and let’s face it, we’ve all read a failing storyline at one time or another), please leave it in the comments. I look forward to reading what you have and the possibility of using it in our story this November.


P.S. I would encourage you all, if you feel adventurous, to take on the challenge of NaNoWriMo. I didn’t succeed my first go round, but I’m excited for the chance to do it again. I’m currently proofreading what I did write for the 2010 NaNo. Remember, this is about words on the page, proofreading is for December 😉 And we can borrow ideas from each other… Just because we include the same fire wielding Blood Elf, doesn’t mean our story is going to take the same turn after the encounter is over.