September 11, 2013

I know it’s late, but that’s how I roll…

September 11, 2001:

I sat in my therapists office as he railed on about worry and fear, telling me: “don’t worry about yesterday, its in the past and you can’t change it. Don’t worry about tomorrow, it isn’t here. Focus on today only.”

I’ve often joked about how my life could have been so different if I had actually taken his advice and focused on “today only”. My young, impressionable mind could have become royally obsessed with the Towers, the airplanes, the people.

Instead, I still fear the past, I still worry about the future and I can’t relax today. Instead, it took me years to process what I’d see and heard that day. The conflicting actions of the people in my life who were supposed to help me through it. Viewing that much hate and that much love and still so much indifference all in a span of a few hours left me with a lot of confusion.

Even further down the years, I’m married to a soldier. He’s fought in the wars that started that day, as has his older brother and so many other men and women. Not all of them come home. When you look at the death counts (a phrase that shouldn’t even exist), do you just count those in the Towers, the ones in the airplanes and the ones in the Pentagon? Or do you remember that so many more have died as a result of that day? Each soldier, contractor, or civilian who has died in the wars of Iraq and Afghanistan has died because of what happened September 11, 2001.

Let’s remember this, when we look at other war-torn nations and think we can help. Decades ago, we thought we could help. Today, we mark the anniversary of the day that help bit us in the ass.

Let’s remember those who lost their lives because our government focused too much on today and not enough about our future. Let’s remember those people who lost their lives because a small group of anti-Americans decided a plane would make a great weapon of mass destruction. Let’s remember the soldiers who have lost their lives taking the fight to another country, so our children can grow up without seeing bodies in the streets or living in fear of being murdered in their sleep as a message to the town.

Let’s remember.

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2 thoughts on “September 11, 2013

  1. Last year I couldn’t blog about this day (on time or otherwise) Couldn’t do it this year either. But you’re right about seeing both hate and love. One day, when I try to explain to Sofia everything this day was, and what it was like here in NYC, I will be sure to include the love part. I want her to know how we all tried to be there for each other.

    And yes, the losses did not stop that day. That is heartbreaking. Yes, let us always remember those have made those sacrifices. I am very grateful to our troops for the fact and the blessing that I can walk down the street free from fear. I remember what it was like not to have that feeling.

    • Thank you for this, Gina. Having never even been to New York, it’s much harder for me to grasp the devastation that must have been so wide-spread that day and in the days, weeks and months that followed. We watched it from afar. Safe in our homes, hundreds of miles away from the hurt and pain on our televisions. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have such pain, sorrow and madness in your own backyard.

      My memories of that day are so torn. I remember how callously my aunt and mother went off to the batting cages for practice before a softball game and then later we all stood in line for hours to donate blood. This two images have always conflicted in my mind. It seems like it took them hours to process that people had died and others would need our help. I was 16-years old. It was all so confusing; some of it still is.

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